“Sally”, as we shall call her, began making regular appearances at Omar’s shortly after I purchased Philip.  I would often arrive in the evening or weekends to find her by his stand, playing with or holding him.

At the time, I think that Philip was the only African Grey baby on the floor.  Omar’s has a unique set up that is designed to encourage interaction with the birds and help socialize them.   They are on stands that hang from the ceiling and people can walk through and play with or hold (at their own risk) any bird that is not specifically labeled otherwise.  It could get quite amusing at times, especially with the newbies who had no idea how to get the bird back out of their hair or from perching triumphantly on the top of their head.  And I must say that Philip IS pretty amazing, so I can understand why she would take an immediate liking to him.

The first couple of times I arrived to find Sally already playing with Philip, I smiled graciously and didn’t think much of it.  But then she was there more and more frequently, and on the weekends … always doting on Philip.

She was usually there with her Mom.  Sally was in high school and was – according to a very transparent Mother – struggling with anxiety and insecurity and some other challenges and so they would come to the bird store regularly for her to unwind.

Of course, my response to this situation was a bubbling flow of compassion, kindness and understanding towards a teenager trying to navigate an onslaught of hormones, emotions, a smothering mother, and who knows what else.  Right?

Umm, no.

Instead, I am writhing in a cesspool of all the wrong emotions.  Insecurity about a parrot?  Yes.   I had no idea that it meant so much to me that he love me, and how uncertain I was that he would – even after wild success with two other parrots.  Jealousy?  Yes.  Sadly. Mother bear syndrome?  YES.  “Keep your hands off my bird, chick, or you won’t live to regret it.”

Yes, I know.  All of this was triggered by and aimed at a teenager who spent most of her days hanging out a bird store playing with someone else’s bird.  Human nature has no sense of proportion.

Thankfully, I possessed a little more character than my emotions suggested and I didn’t do anything stupid.  But I was in a pickle.  I had no idea I was this insecure about who my bird would love.  And really, come on, Meg, why are you doing all of this anyway?  It was supposed to be about unpacking design, not proving that you are eminently loveable.

Well, by no other means than the grace of God, an unselfish thought or two managed to worm their way into my mind.  What if Sally was receiving something special from Philip?  What if it was important in this season of her life?  What if my job was to go with the flow and let God take care of the rest?

It was an internal wrestling match.  I clearly had some unresolved issues.   There was the bigger picture of how to be life giving or what God may be trying to accomplish in someone else’s life.

There was also a part of me that wanted to fight.

I grew up with mixed views of competition.  I am competitive by nature.  My parents taught me how to win and lose well, and for that I am incredibly grateful.  But there is still a lot that can go sideways when people are wounded or self-serving.  So, it seemed better to me that I take a step back, instead of a step forward.  Let God take care of it.  At the end of the day, Philip was coming home with me.

But then, in conversation with a friend, I saw it from another angle.  There is a time to fight for what God has given you.  Not out of spite, meanness, jealousy, or selfishness, but because it is your responsibility to steward.  Sometimes there need to be some boundaries.  Philip was at an important imprintable stage of his life.  I prayed and pondered and tried to shut the Mother Bear up long enough to be slightly objective, and decided to take a step forward.

So, the next time I went to Omar’s, I brought a brace of pistols and asked Sally to meet me outside the city at dawn.

Or, I may have pulled her aside and asked her kindly if she would only hold Philip when I was there.  She was welcome to visit and talk to him when I wasn’t there, but I would appreciate being around when she held him.  She seemed to understand and took it quite well.  And for those who are wondering, I DID still allow her to hold him.  Quite a lot, actually.

We seemed to do fine after that.  The three of us chatted and visited when we were all there.  And it wasn’t too long after and she had her own baby parrot to love.  She decided that she didn’t want to wait for another African Grey, so she got an adorable Griffin Cockatoo.

I think that something shifted in me.  I suspect that the whole exercise was elaborately planned by God to grow me up a bit more.  Having to sort through all of those emotions and find some sort of solid ground was an exercise in maturity.  And for all of my fussing and fuming, it was challenging to actually approach her about it.  That stretched me.  And this was only the first glint of the mirror on the surfaces of my inner soul.  Soon, I would be wrestling with a hugely unexpected philosophical crisis.

(I am leaving today on a much anticipated road trip, so there won’t be another blog for a few days.)