Archive for February, 2016

A God I Don’t Understand

Each of us has different areas of God’s nature that we connect with deeply.  Whether it is from our experiential walk or some pre-programming in our spirits, we resonate to that facet of Who He is.  The other day I had a conversation with a friend where I saw one of those areas clearly.

The topic of conversation was grief and suffering in our lives.  My friend made a comment about how can people survive in a world without God.  I agreed that it was a nightmarish proposition, but for me, it went beyond the comfort, hope, and strength He brings to our lives.  I simply can’t imagine, or perhaps, don’t want to imagine, a world where I am the biggest mind that exists.

I don’t understand God and I know I never will.  And somehow,  that is a huge source of joy and stability.  It is not intimidating to me, it is liberating.  The universe is far too complex and mysterious for my mind to grasp.  Why on earth would I want to grasp the God who made it?  That seems absolutely backwards and upside down; a cosmic proposition that is precarious to the max.

Still more horrifying is an incomprehensible universe with no God at all.  It feels like it would be the worst prison any spirit has ever known.  How many things about life must you deny and ignore?  How small must you shrink your mind?  Trapped inside of a world that has turned in on itself until you can only see your own reflection.  There is no freedom to revel in the awe of unexplainable and mysterious things.  They are dangerous.  They beg an explanation and explanations threaten to let the light shine on the prison walls.  What grieves me so deeply is that many people who have embraced this world view are deceived into thinking they are free.

I worship the God that is too big for me to understand.  It is one of the things I love the most about Him.  It is comforting to know He is in control, but even more so, to know that He is bigger than everything I can see.  That means I have the freedom to expand as big as I possibly can go in pondering the mysteries and I will never, ever, ever, find the end.

My friend and I began by discussing the grief and suffering in life.  And it is, indeed, pain and fear that usually cause us to reduce God or reject Him entirely.  But at the end of the day, would it not be better to accept that we are too small to understand than to have an understandable God, or worse yet, no God, in a world that doesn’t make sense?

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